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Assalamualaikum and Hello This time I will write in Malay; so, Malay it is! “Akak ada breast cancer, stage 3 dah..” “Tahun lepas...

Friday, May 27, 2016


Assalamualaikum and Hello..

I still don't have the gut to open my photo gallery. Too many memories inside; and for this time being, it makes me cry.

Thank you for being so strong, stronger than what I thought you could be, stronger than what you thought you could be, so strong that you fought till your very last breath. 

And I am currently being attack by millions of flashbacks - of you, of us, of your words, of your spirit, of our hopes, our plans, and everything that remains. 

Please wait for me, husband. 
I promise I'll do good, I'll be good, and I will be a good mother to our son. 

Please wait for me, one day we will meet again; and this time it will be forever. 

I really love you. Dunia, akhirat. 

Sunday, May 22, 2016



Seandainya benar Kau ingin menjemput dia kembali, izinkan aku menyusul kemudian juga. 

Aku merayu.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


Assalamualaikum and Hello :)

I spend the day at home today. Work from home - in front of the TV, wearing my unglamorous baju tidur, and messy hair bun. 

I feel incomplete. 

I miss the danna so badly. I miss to see him walking across the room, being lazy on the sofa, his clumsiness in the kitchen, and his laughter. 

He, inspire me a lot. 

He always push me to be a better person. He strategised everything so that I could go higher and further. He motivates me. He's everything to me. 

I miss you everyday. 
Not a second goes by without me calling your name.

I just, miss you. :)

Monday, May 2, 2016


Assalamualaikum and Hello :)

Yup, still struggling with back pain. But it is ok.

Random photo from my gallery.

Pregnancy update: 
Baby kicks are getting harder. 
I laughed when I saw someone was like twirling around inside; how magical.
I cant wait to welcome the baby into this world but at the same time I am sooo going to miss these moments that I am currently facing right now.

Personal update:
Put aside all those body aches and discomforts; I can say that I am feeling more content and relaxed nowadays. 
Now I have learned about kifarah, and I am blessed to know that He never forgets me. 
And I can see some people who used to say bad things about me etc; are now xxxxxxxxxxx. :) no need to say, God knows.
Despite the hard times that I have went through, I am glad that I was with the danna and proves him that I'll be with him; rain or sunshine. 

Me love ya, my man!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

May 1

Assalamualaikum and Hello :)

Alhamdulillah for everything. 

Recently I am having back pain, and it kinda restrict my daily routines. Thus, my gynae gave me a letter telling that I am not fit for office works and suggest me to work from home. Yeay. 

So instead of sitting up straight and do my job, now I can do it by laying down on my bed, or while chilling on my sofa, and it is obviously a bless :) 

Right now mama is here in the house, and suddenly this little bun inside here is being so manja; nak muntah muntah la, nak cramp la, nak false contraction la, nak being tired all day long la, and mama is being so helpful; just like every other moms would do to their kids. 

About the cramping, it was so intense; starts from my back and radiates to my lower abdomen, making me unable to stand up straight or walk. Yup, no one said it is going to be easy, so I guess I just have to stay strong :)

For baby and daddy.

I miss the danna so badly. 
And I need him more than anything in this world. 
Especially at times like this. 

I miss you, sweetheart. 



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