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Assalamualaikum and Hello This time I will write in Malay; so, Malay it is! “Akak ada breast cancer, stage 3 dah..” “Tahun lepas...

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Jiwa, Raga dan Segalanya



Untuk Dia.


Janganlah Kau lebihkan rinduku padanya melebihi rinduku padaMu Tuhan.



Janganlah Kau lebihkan kasihku padanya melebihi kasihku padaMu Tuhan.



Dan jangan pula Engkau biarkan cintaku padanya melebihi cintaku padaMu.



Kerana rindu, kasih dan cintaku padanya tak akan wujud tanpa Engkau.


Sesungguhnya aku serahkan segala padaMu Tuhan. Hinanya aku, hanyut dalam duniawi. Hinanya aku, suatu masa dahulu aku lupa padaMu. 


Padahal Engkaulah yang mengetahui segalanya.


Sadarkan aku, Tuhan. 
Tunjukkan aku jalan yang lurus.
Istiqamahkanlah aku. 


Terimalah aku. 
Aku berserah.


Adakah Kau terima penyerahan ku dalam keadaan ini, Ya Allah?


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

22062016



Awak,

Rindu ni bagaikan tak tertanggung. 


Air mata ni; mengalir sendiri. 


Murah betul untuk awak. 


Jiwa kita ni; pergi bersama awak. Yang tinggal hanya jasad; kosong.


Cuma bahu kita ni; ada tanggungjawab. Yang entah boleh ke tidak kita pikul.


Sakit, awak. 


Menanggung rindu.


Awak pun rasa macam tu?


Wednesday, June 15, 2016

7th January 2011


Assalamualaikum and Hello :)


I still remember our very first met.


It was Friday. You told me that you will fetch me after Solat Jumaat. And I said ok.

I went out to get my hair done, I picked my favourite baby blue floral dress, matched with my fav nude cardigan, and matching black quilted flats and sling bag. No make up; because I don't know how to put them on. Haha. And I was wearing my CK perfume on that day. 


After Solat Jumaat you called me and said you are already at the carpark, waiting for me. Babe, I was so nervous; I didn't even dare to see you right after I went out from the lift. 


Yea, I heard the sound of your car but I was hiding somewhere because I was afraid. :)


After like, 10 mins, I walked out and nervously said 'hye' to you (you are waiting inside the car) and I saw you smile. Big smile. 

It was 6 years ago.

And the rest is history. 

6 years and my love to you is getting stronger. 

I really love you, husband. As I always jokingly told you; 'my love for you is so deep that the ocean would be jealous.'

I really love you. 

Dunia. 

Akhirat. 



Sunday, June 12, 2016

Where are you?


Assalamualaikum and Hello,


I am no longer in denial. 

People say grieving is only a process; and every process should have an end. But for me, grieving is not a process. There is no end. It is not something that I must complete. It is not a task that I have to finish. 

Grieve is something that I need to endure. It takes a lot of strength for me to  readjust myself with my new way of seing, to continue my life with a feeling like 'something missing'.

I will continue to grieve and I will grieve as much as I want. No one knows how much am I hurting. It hurts. So bad. 

No words can even comfort me. 


So at this exteremely weeping stage, just let me be with Him, and my baby. May Allah heals me. 

Friday, June 3, 2016

Yang Sebenar Benarnya


Hamba.


Hamba yang sebenar-benarnya hamba.


Tuhan ajari itu.


Untuk menerima, mengerti, memahami, menghayati keindahan takdirNya. 


Terima kasih, Tuhan. 

Untuk segala peluang, pemberian, petunjuk dariMu; yang menarik diri ini agar kembali merindui yang Satu. 


Muhammad Hazeeq Redzuan. 


Selamat datang, bersama Ramadhan.


xx

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